Part 1: When Professional Knowledge Isn't Enough: Understanding the SEN Crisis

I never thought I'd be here, writing this blog. As a Clinical Psychologist specialising in developmental trauma and neurodiversity, I thought I understood the challenges families face in the education system. But experiencing it as a parent of neurodivergent children has shown me just how deep this crisis goes.

I get it. I really do. The morning battles, the phone calls from school, the constant advocate role, the guilt, the worry, the exhaustion. Despite all my professional knowledge about neurodevelopment and trauma, I found myself struggling to navigate a system that seemed designed to exclude rather than support my child.

Beyond the Statistics

When I tell you there are 473,255 children with EHCPs in England, a 40% increase since 2019, that might sound like just another number. But I know what lies behind those figures - because I've lived it. They represent countless mornings spent trying to get distressed children into school, numerous meetings where parents feel unheard, and so many families facing impossible choices.

Let's talk about those choices, because I know how lonely and overwhelming they can feel. Over 100,000 children are currently experiencing school-based anxiety so severe they can't attend school. If you're one of those parents watching your child's mental health deteriorate while waiting for support, please know this isn't your fault.

The Reality Behind Closed Doors

In my clinical practice, I sit with parents who are exhausted from fighting a system that doesn't understand their children's needs. They share stories that mirror so many of our own experiences - the impact of rigid behaviour policies, the lack of understanding about neurodevelopmental differences, the feeling that their child is seen as a problem rather than a person who needs support.

What I've learned, both professionally and personally, is that we're not failing as parents - the system is failing our children. When schools prioritise compliance over connection, when they focus on managing behaviour rather than understanding it, they create environments where many children simply cannot thrive.

The Impact on Families

I know first hand how this affects the whole family:

·       The impossible morning routines

·       The impact on work and careers

·       The strain on relationships

·       The financial pressures

·       The emotional toll

·       The isolation

 And perhaps hardest of all - watching your child's confidence and love of learning slowly disappear.

Finding a Way Forward

Here's what I want every parent struggling in this system to know:

·       Your instincts about your child are valid

·       You're doing the best you can in an impossible situation

·       The problems you're facing are systemic, not personal

·       You're not alone in this journey

While my professional knowledge helps me understand the system, it's my experience as a parent that's shown me what needs to change. We need schools that:

·       Understand anxiety and trauma responses

·       Prioritise emotional safety

·       Value connection over compliance

·       Adapt to meet children's needs

·       See behaviour as communication

What's Coming Next

Over the next few weeks, I'll be exploring:

·       Why current specialist provision isn't working

·       How behaviour policies impact our children

·       What real inclusive education looks like

·       How we can create meaningful change

I'm sharing both my professional insights and personal experiences because I believe understanding leads to change. And change is desperately needed.

Let's Talk

If you're navigating this journey, I'd love to hear your experience. What challenges are you facing? What support would make a difference? Share in the comments below or reach out privately.

Because while this crisis is systemic, the journey through it doesn't have to be lonely.

[Next week: "When Schools Can't Cope: Understanding the Provision Crisis"]

💝 Dr. Natasha Holden