Unauthorised Absence: School Attendance Is Just the Tip of the Iceberg

Why the school attendance crisis should prompt us to look more closely at the education system itself.

By Dr Natasha Holden and Dr Hayley J. Smith, Clinical Psychologists

Last week, we had the privilege of attending the premiere of Unauthorised Absence, a powerful and deeply moving short film about a mother fighting to secure support for her daughter while facing increasing pressure, blame and threats of punishment over her child's school attendance.

It was an incredibly emotional experience, and there were lots of tears throughout the room. As clinical psychologists working with children and families, so much of what we saw felt painfully familiar. The film also resonated personally, reflecting experiences of the fear, exhaustion and helplessness that can come when your own child is struggling within the education system.

What stayed with us most was the child's distress. The fear, overwhelm and desperation portrayed on screen were so recognisable, as was the mother's experience of trying to protect and support her child while navigating a system that seemed increasingly focused on attendance rather than understanding what was happening.

Last year, we were contacted by the filmmakers after they had read our open letter to the then Secretary of State for Education, Bridget Phillipson. The letter, which has now been signed by over 3,500 psychologists, raises serious concerns about the impact of current educational practices on children's mental health and calls for fundamental systemic reform. We were sent the script and had a small role in supporting the film's development, so it was an enormous privilege to finally see it brought to life.

While Unauthorised Absence focuses on the devastating consequences of school attendance difficulties, we believe it also opens the door to a much bigger conversation. The difficulties we are seeing with school attendance are often just the tip of the iceberg.

The absence is visible, but the distress beneath it often isn't

When a child begins to struggle with school attendance, the focus frequently shifts to how we can get them back into school. Attendance figures are monitored, meetings are arranged and interventions are introduced. Parents may be reminded of their legal responsibilities, and some face fines or threats of prosecution. But in our determination to improve attendance, we worry that we are often failing to ask a much more important question: what has happened in this child's experience of education that has made attending so difficult?

For many children, attendance difficulties do not appear suddenly. They may be the culmination of months or even years of trying to cope within an environment that feels overwhelming, unpredictable or psychologically unsafe. Long before attendance becomes a concern, there may have been signs of distress, such as increasing anxiety before school, emotional outbursts after returning home, sleep difficulties, physical complaints or withdrawal from activities they previously enjoyed.

Some children spend their school days masking their difficulties, working incredibly hard to meet expectations, manage sensory discomfort, navigate social relationships and avoid making mistakes. They may appear to be coping, and adults around them may have little awareness of just how much effort it is taking. At home, however, parents may be seeing a very different picture, with children becoming increasingly distressed, exhausted or unable to manage everyday demands.

Over time, these experiences can have a significant impact on children's emotional wellbeing, confidence and sense of self. By the time a child is no longer able to attend school, their distress may have become profound. School absence is therefore not necessarily the beginning of the problem. It may simply be the point at which the problem has become impossible to ignore.

Looking beyond attendance: the wider picture of school distress

School attendance difficulties are often the most visible indication that a child is struggling, but they are not the only way that distress manifests. For some children, their experiences of school become so overwhelming that attending is no longer manageable. Others continue to attend despite significant anxiety, emotional exhaustion or a growing sense that they are unable to meet the expectations placed upon them.

In our clinical work, we meet children whose distress is expressed in many different ways. Some are repeatedly sanctioned for behaviours that may reflect unmet needs, overwhelm or developmental differences. Others become increasingly anxious about making mistakes, falling behind or failing to meet expectations. We also see children who work incredibly hard to manage throughout the school day, only for the emotional impact to become apparent when they return home. Over time, these experiences can erode children's confidence, sense of belonging and enjoyment of learning.

The concern, therefore, extends beyond the number of children who are absent from school. Attendance data cannot tell us whether children feel safe, supported and able to participate meaningfully in their education. A child may be physically present in the classroom while experiencing considerable psychological distress, just as a child who is unable to attend may be communicating, through their absence, that something about their educational experience has become unmanageable.

This was a central concern in our open letter. We believe the current attendance crisis should prompt a broader examination of children's experiences within education, including the impact of educational expectations, behaviour policies and learning environments on their psychological wellbeing. If we are to understand why so many children are struggling, we need to look beyond attendance and attainment as measures of educational success, and consider whether our schools are meeting children's developmental, emotional and psychological needs.

Understanding school distress through a psychological lens

From a psychological perspective, children's responses to school need to be understood within the context of their experiences. Our threat system is designed to protect us, responding when we perceive situations as overwhelming, unpredictable or unsafe. These responses can take many forms, including anxiety, anger, avoidance, withdrawal or attempts to regain a sense of control.

Importantly, our brains learn from experience. When a child repeatedly experiences distress within a particular environment, they may begin to anticipate that distress before it happens. Over time, things associated with those experiences can become triggers in their own right. The school uniform, the journey to school, a particular classroom or lesson, or even the expectation of getting ready in the morning may begin to activate a threat response.

This helps us understand why a child who was previously able to attend school may eventually reach a point where even the thought of going becomes overwhelming. What looks like avoidance, refusal or non-compliance may sometimes be better understood as a protective response from a child whose nervous system has learned to associate school with threat.

Of course, school attendance difficulties are complex, and not every child experiences them for the same reasons. Developmental differences, anxiety, relationships, family circumstances, learning needs and environmental factors can all interact. Learning processes also play an important role. When avoiding a situation provides immediate relief from distress, that relief can reinforce avoidance and make returning increasingly difficult.

However, focusing only on how avoidance is maintained risks overlooking how the situation came to feel threatening in the first place. We need to understand not only what a child is avoiding, but why, and what would need to change for them to feel sufficiently safe and supported to engage again. Increasing pressure to attend without addressing the experiences contributing to distress may inadvertently intensify the child's threat response.

When the education system becomes part of the problem

In our open letter, we raised concerns about a range of educational practices that we believe warrant urgent reconsideration. These include high-stakes standardised testing, developmentally inappropriate academic expectations, rigid behaviour policies, exclusionary practices and an education system that can place greater emphasis on measurable performance than children's holistic development.

We also highlighted concerns about the experiences of neurodivergent children and those who have experienced adversity, who may be particularly vulnerable when educational environments fail to accommodate their needs.

We want to be clear that this is not about blaming teachers. We work with many dedicated teachers and school leaders who care deeply about the children they support. Many are themselves working within systems that place considerable demands on them, with limited time, resources and flexibility. But we do need to be willing to examine whether some of the structures and expectations within education may be contributing to the difficulties we are then trying to address.

For example, when a child repeatedly struggles to meet academic expectations, we often focus on what additional intervention they need. But do we also consider whether those expectations are developmentally appropriate? When a child struggles with behaviour, we may focus on teaching emotional regulation or improving compliance, without necessarily examining whether the behaviour policy itself is psychologically informed and responsive to individual needs.

Similarly, when children become overwhelmed by the sensory, social or cognitive demands of school, we may focus on helping them develop coping strategies rather than considering how the environment could be adapted to reduce those demands. Of course, supporting children to develop skills is important, but there is a fundamental difference between helping children navigate manageable challenges and expecting them to repeatedly tolerate environments that overwhelm their ability to cope.

Why more mental health support is not enough

One of the most important arguments in our open letter is that increasing access to mental health support, while necessary, will not resolve the crisis if we fail to address the conditions that may be contributing to children's distress.

We frequently hear calls for more school-based mental health interventions, greater access to counselling and increased support from specialist services. These are all important, and children experiencing mental health difficulties deserve timely access to appropriate support. However, we worry that much of the discussion continues to focus on identifying and treating difficulties within individual children, rather than examining the environments and experiences in which those difficulties develop.

If a child is experiencing significant distress because their learning environment is inaccessible, because they repeatedly experience failure, or because their emotional and developmental needs are not being understood, individual therapy alone cannot resolve those difficulties. We risk offering children interventions to help them cope with experiences that we should also be working to change.

As psychologists, we understand that children's emotional wellbeing develops through ongoing interactions between their individual characteristics and the environments in which they grow. Relationships, experiences of safety, autonomy, belonging and competence all play an important role in development and learning.

This is reflected in psychological theories such as Self-Determination Theory, which highlights the importance of autonomy, competence and relatedness for motivation and wellbeing. When children feel connected, capable and have some meaningful influence over their experiences, they are better placed to engage and learn. When they experience persistent threat, failure, disconnection or loss of control, both learning and emotional wellbeing may suffer.

If we want to improve children's mental health, we therefore need to consider not only how we support children within schools, but also how we create schools that support children's mental health.

The hidden impact on families

One of the most powerful aspects of Unauthorised Absence was its portrayal of the mother's experience. The constant worry, the fear of another phone call from school, and the exhaustion of trying to support a distressed child while navigating meetings, professional disagreements and increasing scrutiny.

For many parents, these experiences become all-consuming. They may be trying to manage their child's distress while maintaining employment, supporting other family members, attending meetings, seeking assessments and advocating for appropriate provision. And rather than feeling supported, some experience blame, judgement or suspicion.

We know how difficult it can be for parents to receive another phone call from school, wondering what has happened, what they will be told and how they are going to help their child through whatever comes next. It is difficult to describe the emotional toll of trying to support a child who is struggling while feeling that the systems around you do not fully understand what they need.

These experiences can place enormous strain on the whole family. Parents may become increasingly fearful of interactions with professionals, trust can break down, and children may find themselves caught between the expectations of school and their parents' efforts to protect them from further distress.

Parents also hold essential knowledge about their children's needs, distress and experiences that may not be visible within school. When their observations are dismissed, minimised or interpreted primarily as resistance to school expectations, valuable opportunities for early understanding and support can be lost. A child who appears settled in the classroom may be experiencing significant distress at home, and both perspectives are needed to develop an accurate understanding of their needs.

Genuine partnership requires professionals to approach families with curiosity, respect and a willingness to share responsibility for finding solutions. Parents should not be left feeling that they must continually prove their child's difficulties or carry the burden of identifying and securing appropriate support. When families and professionals work collaboratively, drawing on their different knowledge and perspectives, there is a much greater opportunity to recognise difficulties early and develop responses that genuinely meet the child's needs.

What struck us about the film was how powerfully it captured the cumulative nature of these experiences. It is rarely just one difficult morning, one school meeting or one attendance letter. It is the relentless accumulation of distress, pressure and uncertainty, often over a prolonged period.

What would meaningful change look like?

In our open letter, we called for fundamental changes to the way education is structured and delivered. These were not simply calls for additional support for individual children, but for a broader reconsideration of the environments and systems in which children are expected to learn.

We identified six areas for reform, beginning with a reassessment of high-stakes standardised testing in primary schools. We believe assessment should help teachers understand children's learning and identify how best to support them, rather than creating unnecessary pressure or reinforcing experiences of failure. Greater use of teacher observations, portfolios and other forms of assessment could provide a more rounded picture of children's development and progress.

We also called for educational approaches that better reflect children's developmental needs, including more play-based learning in the early years and greater opportunities for movement, creativity and exploration throughout childhood. Children develop at different rates, and educational expectations need sufficient flexibility to accommodate these differences.

Another central recommendation was the transformation of behaviour policies. We called for relational and trauma-informed approaches that recognise behaviour as meaningful and seek to understand the needs and experiences contributing to it. This includes challenging punitive practices such as isolation and seclusion, and ensuring that behaviour policies do not disproportionately disadvantage children with additional needs.

Alongside this, we advocated for a more flexible curriculum that balances academic learning with creativity, movement, wellbeing and opportunities for children to develop their individual interests and strengths. A curriculum that allows greater flexibility could enable teachers to respond more effectively to different learning profiles while supporting deeper engagement and motivation.

We also called for changes to school accountability frameworks, so that inclusion, wellbeing, children's rights and their experiences of education are given meaningful weight alongside academic outcomes. Academic achievement matters, but it should not be the only measure of a successful school. We need to consider whether schools are creating environments in which children feel safe, valued and able to participate.

Finally, we highlighted the need for smaller schools and class sizes, recognising the potential benefits of environments where children can be better known and individual needs more readily accommodated. For some children, particularly those who experience sensory, social or emotional overwhelm, the size and structure of the learning environment can make a significant difference.

These proposals are not about lowering expectations or reducing educational opportunities. They are about creating conditions in which more children can access education successfully, while recognising that psychological wellbeing and academic achievement should not be competing priorities.

Beyond attendance: what are we really trying to achieve?

Of course, school attendance matters. Education provides important opportunities for learning, relationships, personal development and future independence. But attendance cannot be the only goal.

A child who attends every day but experiences persistent anxiety, humiliation, exclusion or a growing sense of failure is not necessarily accessing the education they deserve. Equally, a child who is currently unable to attend school should not be viewed simply as an attendance problem to be solved. We need to understand their experiences, identify the barriers they face and consider what changes would make education accessible again.

This requires moving beyond a narrow focus on attendance figures towards a broader understanding of educational participation, wellbeing and belonging. Central to this is recognising children as active participants in decisions about their education, rather than simply the subjects of decisions made by adults about attendance, behaviour and provision.

Children's perspectives should meaningfully inform how their needs are understood and how support is planned. When a child tells us that something about school feels unbearable, our first response should be curiosity about their experience, rather than an assumption that they simply need to become more compliant. This means creating opportunities for children to communicate in ways that feel safe and accessible to them, recognising that not all children can easily explain their distress in words.

Not every difficulty can or should be removed, and supporting children will sometimes involve helping them gradually approach situations they find challenging. But that work needs to happen within environments that are responsive, supportive and appropriately adapted to their needs. The aim should not simply be to increase children's tolerance of distress, but to reduce unnecessary distress while building their confidence, sense of safety and capacity to engage.

A reason to feel hopeful

Despite the emotional impact of Unauthorised Absence, we left the premiere feeling hopeful. There was something incredibly powerful about being surrounded by so many people who have been working, advocating and campaigning for change.

We had the opportunity to speak with MPs, journalists, fellow professionals and inspiring parent advocates. We were particularly moved by meeting a young person who courageously shared their own experience of school attendance difficulties. Hearing directly from young people is so important, particularly when their experiences can become lost within discussions about policy, attendance figures and professional decision-making.

It was also wonderful to finally meet people in person whom we had previously only known through emails, online conversations and video calls.

Being in that room was a reminder that there are so many people who recognise the need for change and are determined to make it happen. We hope Unauthorised Absence reaches a wide audience, particularly those responsible for shaping educational policy and practice. The film has the potential to communicate something that statistics and reports often struggle to convey: the lived experience of children and families when systems fail to recognise and respond to their needs.

We also hope it encourages a wider conversation about the children whose difficulties remain hidden because they are still attending school. The attendance crisis should not simply prompt us to ask how we can get more children back into school. It should prompt us to examine why so many children are struggling in the first place, and what needs to change within our education system.

We need schools where children's developmental differences are understood, where relationships are prioritised and where academic achievement and emotional wellbeing are seen as complementary rather than competing goals. We need an education system that responds to distress with curiosity and compassion rather than blame, and recognises that meaningful inclusion is about more than physical presence in a classroom. It is about being able to participate, learn, develop and belong.

Unauthorised Absence tells one family's story, but the questions it raises extend far beyond school attendance. If we genuinely want to improve children's educational experiences and mental health, we need to be willing to look beneath the surface.

Because school attendance difficulties are just the tip of the iceberg.

Oct 24 Unauthorised Absence: School Attendance Is Just the Tip of the Iceberg